What are your reference points, your standards?
Do you have deal breakers?
Are they good, do they make sense, what are they based on?
How is it that you’re in a relationship and you don’t have objectives, a reference point or standards and values?
I’m not talking about celebrity relationship goals, as it is evident that you don’t need to be sane or functional to be in a relationship.
Who’s reference of love are you using? If you have objectives, a reference point and a standard, then you won’t have to always run around looking for answers / solutions to issues that are not new under the sun. Yes every situation is different, but there are general rules of thumb and general categories of ‘yes’ and categories of ‘no’.
I didn’t have any standards, objectives or reference points. I was not using God as my ‘love reference point’. I had no ‘dealbreakers’. I was just in a relationship and I liked the idea of being in one. And so when issues arose, my response would always be to find an answer that made him feel he should stay and that he was right and I was wrong.
Even if it wasn’t my fault and he was clearly in the wrong. The fear of him leaving or the greater fear of being ‘dumped’ and not being in a relationship, was too great. So I stayed and was continually unhappy. Ever worse I allowed so many things to happen because I had no relationship values. NO STANDARDS!
Find a reference point, ask yourself what your objectives are for being in that relationship. What are his objectives and what are your standards on relationships and love?
What positive, healthy couples are you looking at, who are you asking questions from?
Have standards, objectives and ensure they’re based on His word and ensure you receive Godly counsel